Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Being punched in the face

I dislike it when my cat punches me in the face at six in the morning because he's hungry. He's a real asshole about it too. He'll sit near me, purring. It's sweet right? Then, just like that, he smacks me. Right across the lips. If I respond (by getting pissed), he just punches me from a different angle. (He'll circle around me.) If I ignore him, he'll continue punching me until I get angry. If I get angry, I won't sleep. If I don't sleep, I'll get up and feed him.

He's clever, that cat.

Only he doesn't get fed until seven. Every morning it's the same. And yet, every morning, somewhere between 5:30-6am, there he is, all in my face, ready to fight.


  1. Yesterday morning, 6:45am, in bed with wife Susan, who is pregnant, when cat initiates terror campaign. He sits on Susan's pillow, above her head, usual move to get us stirring. Susan usually responds by tipping up the pillow, and cat jumps off. But yesterday, cat freaks, punces on Susan's face, then off, leaving a huge gash. She screams, bolts to the bathroom, and when I get there behind her, there's blood streaming down from the gash down the side of her face. Imagine how that looks, then ratchet that picture up about 75% -- it's BAD.

    Needless to say, we are now looking for someone to adopt our cat, prior to baby's arrival in July. Any interest?

    But I hadn't appreciated it was part of a national trend. Are the cats fed up with us, and engaged in armed rebellion?

  2. That's horrible, Ted. Poor wife Susan & poor cat. You should raffle away the cat at &NOW... except that won't be until October. Well. Then. That sucks.

    But I do like the idea of my cats engaged in a national rebellion. My cats, the revolutionaries. It's got a nice ring to it.